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Yet LGBT students' reports of being harassed or assaulted held steady from to , before finally dropping somewhat in And there has been no change at all in incidence of negative comments about gender expression. Of course, some of that may be because bending gender norms is conflated with being gay in a culture that still hasn't let go of the idea that gender and sexuality are linked.

But the high rates of harassment and violence faced by transgender people—who most radically reject the gender binary—suggest that gender policing is playing a role over and above the role of homophobia. A whopping 80 percent of transgender students reported that they felt unsafe at school because of their gender expression. And it doesn't get much better for adults: Ninety percent of the trans and gender non-conforming people surveyed by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality reported experiencing harassment, mistreatment, or discrimination on the job, or hid their identities to avoid it.

A report on anti-LGBT violence from the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs found that trans people were 28 percent more likely to be physically assaulted, and trans women specifically made up 40 percent of hate murder victims. It's not just boys who are punished for breaking gender norms, of course.

Take Griner for example. In an op-ed in the New York Times , she recalled that in seventh grade "the teasing about my height, appearance and sexuality went on nonstop, every day. Some even wanted me to prove it to them. Still, at this moment in history, it is easier to be a gender non-conforming girl. So while girls also hold each other to rigid standards, and are vicious when someone doesn't conform one word: slut-shaming , they're far less likely to be homophobic. The GLSEN report, for example, found that over half of students reported hearing remarks about students not acting "masculine enough," but just over a third heard comments about students' "femininity" as often.

Up to a certain age, girls can usually get away with being tomboys, while "sissy" boys are discouraged from very early on—and not just by their peers.